Does It Look Bad If I''m In A Dating Site
The best part about using dating apps is you’ll have the opportunity to date every day if you like, and there’s no doubt about it that no two dates will be the same. When you’re searching for love online, you’ll find men from every walk of life and varied personal backgrounds — that means you will also encounter the spectrum of different personality types.
- Does It Look Bad If I'm In A Dating Site Online
- Does It Look Bad If I'm In A Dating Site Now
- Does It Look Bad If I'm In A Dating Site Reviews
Many single women who use online dating sites and apps report they have, on occasion, come across badly behaved guys online or when they arrived at the IRL date. Here are eight types of guys you should look out for — and avoid.
1. The Cheap Guy
I'm dating a married man. If it comes to a new acquaintance, a date - then I experience negative feelings - it can be fear, and negative feelings.
Dating can be expensive, and no guy wants to break the bank and go to fancy restaurants without a return on his investment. But there are creative and affordable ways to go on dates. For example, you can get to know someone over a cup of soup or pizza at lunch, and if it works out, you can schedule a second date.
When you can’t stop thinking about someone, it can quickly become annoying. Whether you are thinking about a crush or really dislike your boss, these thoughts can keep reappearing when you least. Last year, I caught my husband on a site – actually, it was a swingers’ or ‘lifestyle’ site. Seems dubious, does it not? Bad grammar is a dating deal breaker, most say. Is 'LOL' ever okay to use on a dating app? Should you throw a period at the end of that text? We've got answers. March 2, 2016, 8:40 PM UTC.
However, you might come across someone who doesn’t want to invest in a date. Typically, these guys suggest meeting for coffee, which represents an inexpensive date and a quick “out” if they don’t feel any chemistry.
Dating is a commitment of both time and resources. It takes time to get to know someone, so I’m not a fan of coffee dates. I’ll give you a few examples of coffee dates gone bad from my experience as a dating coach.
On one date, a guy suggested meeting for coffee and brought his own bottle of water. He refused to order a $4 coffee for his date or even buy her water when he arrived. It showed a complete lack of respect for the woman he had invited for coffee. In that case, the woman cut the date short and left.
It’s one thing not to want to spend a lot of money on a first date — it’s another to be rude and miserly.
On another date, a guy ordered his coffee from his Starbuck’s app in advance, so by the time his date arrived, he was happily sipping his cup of java. He could have sent her a text asking what she’d like to order, but made it clear they were going Dutch, or she’d be going home thirsty. She asked him why he didn’t offer to order her a coffee, and he replied with “I pre-ordered mine.” She opted to leave.
The guy another dater was meeting sent a text saying he had arrived, and the woman sent a reply that she was three minutes away and asked that he order her a latte. He said OK, and when she arrived, he had ordered the smallest size for less than $3 for her and ordered the largest size for over $4.50 for himself.
He also ordered food for himself in advance, including a croissant and banana because, he told her, he was hungry. In total, he spent $8 on himself for three items and $2.75 for her. As she sipped her small coffee, shaking her head in disbelief, she wondered why he hadn’t ordered the same size beverage for both of them. Needless to say, it was another one-and-done date.
When it comes to coffee dates, if you’d like to have a more meaningful conversation with someone, I suggest making the investment and going to a casual cafe. I’d also carefully vet the person on the phone in advance to avoid disappointment.
2. The Angry Guy
When I’m reading through profiles in search of matches, I often come across a profile of someone who sounds like they have a chip on their shoulder. Usually, their profile comes with a disclaimer, which is a big red flag.
A woman I know said she encountered one disclaimer that had written in capital letters “You are not authorized to share, reprint, or use my profile for any reason, and if I find out that you do, I will report you and get you banned.”
If you see a profile with a lot of negative comments on it, that’s a red flag.
I find this to be arrogant and offensive. If someone views your profile and thinks you’d be a good fit for a friend of theirs, why not let them make the introduction on your behalf? This verbiage gave the impression that her potential date would be an angry and threatening guy, so she took a pass.
Another profile said “Don’t contact me if you aren’t thin, don’t look like your profile photos, and lie about anything at all, including your age.” Since he gave a list of reasons not to contact him, his message was clear, and the woman didn’t. She wondered whether she would have been on the receiving end of his criticism if she’d gone on a date with him.
3. The Donnie Downer
It’s not unusual to get online dating fatigue or dating burnout if you’ve been swiping left and aren’t connecting with anyone. But you need to bring your A game to every date; you need to push the restart button and start anew.
Life has its downs, but if that’s all a man focuses on, he’s probably not right for you.
A few profiles I’ve viewed were over 500 words long — way too long-winded. Some people talk about how awful online dating has been for them, while others say they haven’t met anyone yet worth pursuing IRL. One person even said they had trust issues after getting out of a relationship with a partner who had cheated on them.
None of these rants belongs on a dating profile or should be discussed on a phone date or first date. If you come across a profile that has someone talking about losing their job, how their ex ran off with the neighbor, or how they’ve been depressed, take a pass and find someone who will be happy about meeting you.
4. The Narcissist
Occasionally, you’ll meet someone online who acts superior to others. These guys think so much of themselves that they will think very little of you.
Narcissistic men only thing about “me,” not “we.” You’ll probably never come first.
An example would be someone who is vain and says they’re a great catch because they’re handsome and are financially secure. This person will brag about their Ferrari and exotic vacations they’ve been on because it’s all about them.
You’ll rarely see them talk about the desire for a “we” because it’s all about “me.” These guys are charming but live in a fantasy world. It’s quite likely they can’t afford the lease payments on the Ferrari, or they’ve borrowed a friend’s car for a photo opp.
5. The Hookup Guy
Most singles are looking for meaningful relationships. In fact, in the Match Ninth Annual Singles in America Study, researchers found 75% of singles in the study said they are hopeful about finding love, with only 9% of singles looking to date casually.
If you’re looking for a relationship, you shouldn’t go out with guys who want something casual.
However, women often fear men are looking for a hookup, and, depending on which apps they are on or whether they’ve received a random dick pick, they have reason to worry.
If a man’s profile mentions sex, or if he comments on your photo and says you’re sizzling hot, chances are he’s looking for a hookup. Other signs include scheduling a late-night date, so if someone wants to meet for a drink at 10 p.m., make sure you’re unavailable.
6. The Classic Player
Finding a Casanova online isn’t unusual. He’s the guy who makes you feel like you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and he’s as handsome as can be. He exudes confidence and sexuality, and if you meet, you may melt in his arms like butter.
The problem with this sexy guy is he will probably have you in rotation. You’ll never know for sure if you’re the Friday night date or the Saturday night date, but you’ll never get both nights in the weekend because his date card is full.
You will only waste your time if you date a man who won’t commit, and commitment is what you want.
If you ask him if he’s seeing anyone else, the Classic Player will get defensive and tell you he’s so wrapped up with work these days and spending all of his free time with you.
If you become sexually involved, he’ll bolt in the morning for a “family event” and never take down his profile. Even if his romantic, over-the-top date night with you included saying he thinks he’s falling in love with you, it’s the line he uses to bed you and leave you.
7. The One Who isn’t Over His Ex
They say when one door closes, another opens. While I find that to be true, others say to get over someone you need to get under someone else.
When you meet someone who isn’t over his ex, you’ve got a living ghost in your relationship and are in a no-win love triangle. The tell-tale signs are quite obvious: He has photos of her everywhere on social media or on his phone; he is still connected on Facebook and Instagram; and he starts comparing you to her.
Time does heal all wounds, as they say, and it’s essential to find out if the person you’re meeting with is ready to date. For some, it’s immediate because the previous relationship was on a downward slant for a long time, and they mourned the loss as it was ending.
Any guy you want to date should have moved on from his past relationships.
For others who have been jilted by an ex, they may still have them on a pedestal, and you might fear they could get back together again. Wondering how you’re matching up to the one who got away can make you feel anxious, and that is unhealthy.
On a dating profile, men often say they’ve just become single after a long relationship ended. On one dating profile I reviewed, a man had written in the first line that he knew the moment he met his ex-wife on their first date that he was going to marry her.
While that sounds romantic, and you can wonder if that would happen to you, it’s a clear sign that he’s not over her, and even though she’s gone, you could end up in the second position in his heart.
8. The Rescheduler
There are many reasons why people have to reschedule that are valid. Some include a business trip, a funeral, or a child who has the flu. In these cases, it’s important to show compassion and reschedule a firm date to get together when the dust settles.
However, there are a group of men who are on dating sites for the ego boost. They want to see likes on their photos by women. They love swiping right to get a mutual match on Tinder or Bumble, and they schedule dates with you that they have no intention of going on.
It’s OK to reschedule dates, but it’s not good if he keeps doing it.
Perhaps they’re still in a relationship that’s about to run its course, and they want to check out the options. Or they have a habit of digital window shopping. In either case, you’ve got an unavailable man on your hands, and aren’t you worth meeting someone who has a clean slate just like you do?
Remember to Watch Your Behavior, Too, and Realize That There are Other Fish in the Dating Sea
If you meet someone who fits the description of any of these personality types, know that you’re not alone. And, if you heed our advice and take swift and determined action, you’ll be dodging a bullet. Once that’s resolved, don’t worry. With millions of singles dating online, it’s just a matter of time before you meet someone respectful and kind who is worthy of a woman with your qualities.
You send a message and you wait. She leaves you on “read” for hours or days. You really like her and just want a response.
What does it mean?
What should you do?
Are you sweating yet?
If a girl doesn’t text you back, it can be incredibly stressful. It might even seem like the end of the world, especially if you feel like this girl is perfect for you.
For this article, I’ll first explain why she might not be texting you back. Then, I’ll talk about how to handle those long silences.
She Might Be Busy
Do you ever get busy (and I don’t mean the fun kind of busy)? Well, girls get busy too. And, sometimes it’s hard to find time to text or at least have a meaningful conversation (texting or otherwise) with another person. She might even leave you on “read” for awhile if something came up.
Now’s a good time to take our entertaining and informative “What Is Your Dating/Relationship Texting Style” Quiz. See if your texting style is holding you back!
Typically if she’s busy, you’ll still be getting positive and flirty texts. They’ll just be less frequent. Then, once she’s not busy the normal texting will resume
Don’t overthink this one. If you know she’s working, at a family event, etc. don’t expect to get her full attention over text. On the other hand, if you know she’s not busy…
She Might Be Losing Interest (Or Never Had It)
Yes, sometimes you might not be getting texts because the girl is losing interest in you romantically. Or, if a girl doesn’t text you back after you’ve gotten her number and sent the first text, she might not have any interest after all.
Circumstances change. Maybe she was drunk at the bar when she first gave you her number. The next day, she might barely remember you. Or maybe she thought you were cool, but something happened in the meantime.
Just like people can show their lack of interest by not talking as much in person, the same can happen over text. However, it’s much easier to stop texting a guy or slow down the texts than to be direct.
There are a bunch of terms for people who don’t text back (or do so regularly): benching, breadcrumbing, scrapbooking and, if she is trying to get rid of you, the slow fade.
Were her recent texts different? Did you see an enthusiasm for you turn into a lack of enthusiasm? Usually there are signs she’s losing interest long before a woman doesn’t respond. One big sign is consistent “one word” responses or abrupt answers to your longer texts.
She’s Texting Other Guys
With online dating and social media, that cute girl you’re texting could literally be texting five, ten, or even twenty other guys. On average, women receive far more matches and get an insane amount of messages. As this experiment showed, the best looking women get their inboxes slammed! She might be deciding which one she likes most or just keeping all of them on the line until she makes a decision.
If this is the case, she’s spreading around her attention to so many people that you’re not going to get quick responses. It’s also possible that she likes someone else more and responds to you out of guilt or to avoid hurting your feelings. So, she waits a long time because you’re not a priority.
It Could Be Anything
Yes, if a girl doesn’t text you back, it could also mean just about anything. I know this might not be super comforting. But, that reason doesn’t have to be bad. Perhaps she lost her phone. Maybe she’s out with her friends. It doesn’t have to be negative!
However, if she has consistently texted you less lately, she has probably lost interest in some capacity (Occam’s razor: the simplest solution is the most likely). A general rule of attraction is that “people pay attention to what they like.” Sure, she may be busy but most people these days are glued to their phones and texting literally takes ten seconds. If she has time to play on her smartphone and get on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, she has time to message you.
Also, remember that your feelings might simply be stronger. You might have thought you landed the woman of your dreams while she sees you as just a friend or one of many guys.
So, if a girl doesn’t text you back, what can you do about it? Here are our best practices for this situation.
Don’t Appear Needy Or Double Text
Getting texts from women is addicting. It activates the pleasure centers in the brain releasing dopamine. So, when you wait for that vibration sound or text tone, it’s just like a junkie waiting for his next drug hit.
But, you can’t freak out. Neediness, especially in guys, is horribly unattractive. If you start getting needy, it will have the opposite effect you intend: she will become repulsed by you and text you even less.
So, you have to remain detached, and not care. If you can’t achieve this, then you at least have to give the impression you don’t care.
Even if you’re left on “read” for awhile or don’t hear from her for a few hours, just let it be. Don’t be “that guy” who double texts a woman or sends something passive-aggressive like a “?”
Texts get delivered reliably and most women have their phone with them all the time. If she doesn’t text you back the first time, there’s a reason. I’ve written a whole article on double texting a girl that will explain all about it.
Have Texting Options
The best way to not die of anxiety when she doesn’t respond is to have options/choices. Look at it this way. If Bill Gates loses a hundred dollar bill, does he care?
Probably not? What about you? You probably would care and it may even bother you for days or months, especially as bills come due.
If you have three or four (or more) women that you text regularly, then it doesn’t matter if one suddenly stops. Be the Bill Gates of texting women (or at least have a few options).
However, the irony is that if you have other women in your back pocket, she likely won’t stop texting. Why? Because being cool, relaxed, and detached is actually very, very attractive to women. Once again, neediness is unattractive and don’t be that guy!
I’m not saying to be a player. But, if you’re not in a committed relationship, there’s no reason to be fiercely loyal to someone who isn’t committed to you either. Remember, she’s not texting you back so you owe her nothing at this point. Have (and find) options!
Resurrecting A Dead Conversation
Texting has been shown to boost interpersonal relationships and have other benefits. So, can you use it effectively to resurrect a dead conversation? What about one for days or months?
Does It Look Bad If I'm In A Dating Site Online
Yes, you can! But, realize it might not be successful.
Does It Look Bad If I'm In A Dating Site Now
A lot of guys throw out a “hey” or “how are you?” after a few days and expect a reply. But, that is the same boring behavior that likely caused her to ignore you to begin with. If you want to resurrect a conversation, be charming, funny, interesting, confident, etc.
I suggest texting her something like, “I saw something today that reminded me of you.” Leave it at that; withholding information will hack her brain into wanting to know more. Text nothing more, until she responds. If she responds, “what?” wait a few hours and think of something you could have seen that reminded you of her. Make it funny and interesting, but also withholding information.
I once helped a guy resurrect a text conversation by replying “a meth lab” to that question. She was obviously extremely curious why seeing that reminded him of her, and she literally texted back within minutes. She was a Breaking Bad fan so it worked out and they started texting about that.
So, if done right, you can resurrect a conversation, but like I said, you better be ready to bring your best game, or you’ll just get ghosted all over again.
Also, remember my advice above: sometimes it’s not about you. There is a chance that she just might not be interested. If that’s the case, respect her and move on.
If you want to know more texting advice related to dating and relationships, check out our texting advice articles. We have tons of great information to give you incredible texting skills to get the girl. In addition, we invite you to download our free report, which will give you effective methods and lines to resurrect a conversation with a girl you haven’t messaged in days, months, or even years!
Does It Look Bad If I'm In A Dating Site Reviews
So, if a girl doesn’t text you back if could be many different things. However, there is one thing it certainly shouldn’t be: the end of the world.